Ambassador of Books ~ Book Club Madam ~ Blogger Gal

Monday, June 23, 2008

Update on NaComLeavMo

To all my regular readers, I'll be back to my bookish posts soon!

June 25th marks the end of NaComLeavMo. Whew! I really enjoyed it but it's a LOT of work and I need a break. For those who don't know, it's basically a month of visiting new blogs and leaving comments ... and it is ridiculously addicting!

Like I mentioned before, there are MANY infertility bloggers participating - logically, since it was started by someone "in the trenches" - which is sometimes difficult for me (since I had my own infertility issues) but still, I'm glad took part.

This post will be sort of a wrap up for NaComLeavMo, a chance for me to say a lot of the things that crossed my mind during the month.

First off, many people dropped by who don't usually visit my blog, and most of them aren't book bloggers. Do you want to know the comment I heard most often? "Oh, I wish I had the time to read ... it's so relaxing but I'm just too busy." This comment drives me crazy. I mean, do they think I'm not busy? I have a 6 yr old boy and a husband, I work full time, am involved in my church, run scrapbook workshops every month, am part of a big family who loves to get together, and in general I have a life. Yet I still find time to read - and to read a lot - because it is a priority for me. Ok, that's my only rant ... the rest of this post is productive info! ~LOL~

The biggest issue that I was reminded of during NaComLeavMo is that people can be REALLY insensitive to each other. The bloggers I met were very lovely and kind. However pretty much every one of them has experienced some degree of insensitivity relating to their infertility. Read on to see what I mean ...

We all know people say STUPID things sometimes. All of us have some particular issue in our lives that other people just don't get. Currently, my big issue is my son's food allergies (check out my previous post for details). But I also deal with infertility issues. At this point, hubby and I are not trying any more medical treatments and have resigned ourselves to the fact that we will not have any more children ... and we're ok with that. We STILL get insensitive comments though. As a public service to other infertile women out there, here's a primer on the do's and don'ts of what to say in regard to several big issues:
  • the "baby question" - no, it is not always ok to ask someone if or when they plan to have children - click here for an excellent guide to the do's and don'ts - and here is another take on the same matter - and here's one for those of you who love sarcasm
  • miscarriage - for those of you who know someone who has lost a child, click here for some excellent advice on what to say and what not to say (this applies to anyone dealing with any type of loss) - also, don't assume that because a woman doesn't have any children, that's she's never been pregnant ... many women are mourning the loss of their unborn children but you'd never know it, because it's a difficult subject to talk about
If you really want to be informed about the issue of infertility, please watch the video below. It's a bit long but includes excellent info that most people just don't know. I wish I had this video to share with friends/family when I was going through fertility treatments.

Ok, that's probably about enough for now. This blog is supposed to be about BOOKS after all!

Thanks again to Mel for putting together NaComLeavMo. If you'd like to participate, the new format will be IComLeavWe - a WEEK of comment-leaving once a month, which seems much easier! I hope we'll have even more participants from the farthest reaches of the blogosphere. In the meantime, find a good book and get reading!


Brigindo said...

Yeah NCLM has been fun but quite the burden. I too will be glad to see it over. I have not experienced the infertility trenches firsthand so I've been rather shocked with the number of mean and spiteful comments that so many women (and I suppose their husbands as well - but mostly it seems aimed towards the women) have to endure. I've also been reading a fair amount of hurtful comments regarding weight, but that I'm more used to seeing in my daily life. NCLM has been very enlightening and I've found a number of new "regular" blogs (such as your own - who knew there would be blogs devoted just to reading!).

As for the reading comments, I feel you. I come from a family of readers and writers and we have heard them all--including people who claim they have a great idea for a book if they just had time to write it (as if that's all it takes to write).

I, for one, am glad you make both reading and posting about your reading a priority in your busy world.

Ti said...

I have not experienced the infertility trenches firsthand but I have a motto for anyone that does not think before they speak, "you can't fix stupid". Seems to fit the situation quite often actually.

And a comment on the folks that say that they do not have time to read.. I totally agree with you! If it is a priority, then they will make the time for it. Easy as that.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Seriously, your blog is fantastic because it was this daily reminder to make time to read. Not just read stuff online, but curl up on the sofa for at least 15 minutes and pick up a book. So thank you for writing!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. I like the idea of 1ComeLeavWe; I'm going to have to check that out!

momofonefornow said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I too am adding you to my reader. You are right, our stories sound similar and our busy lives are eerily similar. I too am raising a son, being a wife, active with church, love to scrapbook, love to read, and I am very close to my family. Uncanny. Anyway, I have been thinking about your year of books and I think I may steal your idea for my 30th year, which starts in almost a month. (That is if you don't mind) I am attending school f/t so my list may not be quite as long as yours but it is still a good goal.

Rebecca Reid said...

Thanks for the links. I'll read them.

Bybee said...

I never got pregnant again after my son was born in 1984 when I was 22 years old. I didn't medically investigate why...just kept trying and figured things would work out in the long that my son is grown...oh well. Anyway, I got a lot of crap from people who thought I was keeping him an only child on purpose. I even got a stinging lecture once in a fabric store by a complete stranger! One woman "kindly" gave me a verbal list of all the families she'd known in which the only child had died. Too bad people don't know when to keep their mouths shut...unfortunately, these aren't the ones who would read your helpful hints. Great post.

Anonymous said...

I have to say that nclm was quite an eye opener for me. My own brother had infertility issues (they ended up adopting) and I had no idea of how MUCH pain they must have been going through.

As for not having time to can you NOT read? Some people...

Blog Widget by LinkWithin