June 25th marks the end of NaComLeavMo. Whew! I really enjoyed it but it's a LOT of work and I need a break. For those who don't know, it's basically a month of visiting new blogs and leaving comments ... and it is ridiculously addicting!
Like I mentioned before, there are MANY infertility bloggers participating - logically, since it was started by someone "in the trenches" - which is sometimes difficult for me (since I had my own infertility issues) but still, I'm glad took part.
This post will be sort of a wrap up for NaComLeavMo, a chance for me to say a lot of the things that crossed my mind during the month.
First off, many people dropped by who don't usually visit my blog, and most of them aren't book bloggers. Do you want to know the comment I heard most often? "Oh, I wish I had the time to read ... it's so relaxing but I'm just too busy." This comment drives me crazy. I mean, do they think I'm not busy? I have a 6 yr old boy and a husband, I work full time, am involved in my church, run scrapbook workshops every month, am part of a big family who loves to get together, and in general I have a life. Yet I still find time to read - and to read a lot - because it is a priority for me. Ok, that's my only rant ... the rest of this post is productive info! ~LOL~
The biggest issue that I was reminded of during NaComLeavMo is that people can be REALLY insensitive to each other. The bloggers I met were very lovely and kind. However pretty much every one of them has experienced some degree of insensitivity relating to their infertility. Read on to see what I mean ...
We all know people say STUPID things sometimes. All of us have some particular issue in our lives that other people just don't get. Currently, my big issue is my son's food allergies (check out my previous post for details). But I also deal with infertility issues. At this point, hubby and I are not trying any more medical treatments and have resigned ourselves to the fact that we will not have any more children ... and we're ok with that. We STILL get insensitive comments though. As a public service to other infertile women out there, here's a primer on the do's and don'ts of what to say in regard to several big issues:
- the "baby question" - no, it is not always ok to ask someone if or when they plan to have children - click here for an excellent guide to the do's and don'ts - and here is another take on the same matter - and here's one for those of you who love sarcasm
- miscarriage - for those of you who know someone who has lost a child, click here for some excellent advice on what to say and what not to say (this applies to anyone dealing with any type of loss) - also, don't assume that because a woman doesn't have any children, that's she's never been pregnant ... many women are mourning the loss of their unborn children but you'd never know it, because it's a difficult subject to talk about
Ok, that's probably about enough for now. This blog is supposed to be about BOOKS after all!
Thanks again to Mel for putting together NaComLeavMo. If you'd like to participate, the new format will be IComLeavWe - a WEEK of comment-leaving once a month, which seems much easier! I hope we'll have even more participants from the farthest reaches of the blogosphere. In the meantime, find a good book and get reading!